36 Days and Dying.

36 Days until I leave for Boot Camp. Am I supposed to be happy? yes. But should I really be happy realizing that no one really loves or cares for me? Does any one realize I may never see them ever again? People may say I’m exaggerating but I’m not. The US Navy is not so lenient in letting people visit or the other way around. 2 years in Monterey, CA which is a 6 hour drive from everyone and there will never be enough time to visit. Sure, I could take the plane, but that only gives me a day since I’ll have to be home by Sunday to study. 8 Hours of one language everyday plus an estimate of 3 hours of homework. They say that take 4 years of college classes and cram it into 24-63 weeks. And, depending on my language (Asian/Arabic), I’ll be stationed somewhere even farther away(Hawaii/Georgia) for the next 6 years after that. People don’t realize I don’t have the leniency of a college student so I actually may never see any one ever again. Sure, people say “We HAVE to hang out before you leave!” but no one has kept to that promise yet. Every single day that passes by saddens me. At the end of every day I lay in bed thinking and wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Am I that bad of person?” and I start to realize that if they don’t care now, they never did and they’ll just forget about me when I leave. People probably won’t even write to me or try to keep in contact. It’s hard, and it hurts, but I guess that’s just how it as to be.